I'm so glad I wrote that disclaimer in July
My disclaimer written when I first set up this magical piece of rant says "...many may have been written on particularly poor days." So am I just a complainer or are there always particualary poor days? I'm probably just a complainer.
Today Brandon hit the melting point, but let me choose my words carefully. I have received a rumor that my bosses read this blog too, Hi Peter!, Hi Greg!. I guess it's not really a rumor, one once said, "Hey Brandon, I finally checked out your blog. Some really funny stuff on there."
No, I don't want them to think I'm crazy, nor not cut out for the The Toughest Job. I'm just impatient. If there is one thing that I cannot stand it's laziness. Yup, the pure ol' "Ya know, I don't really feel like working....ever."
Personally, I love working. I am not a workaholic by any means, but I love to be engaged in something. I always take on more than I can handle, I always get it done, it always turns out well.
Comparisons are useless here but I would just like to state that my goals for the next two years, I mean the physical labor goals, could easily be done here in no time. In fact, give me 5 of my old laborers at Terra and my two brothers, and I could have it done in a week. In fact, give me any 10 able-bodied Americans and I could have it done in 2 weeks.
I've worked with Habitat in Romania and Engineers Without Borders in Bolivia. While this doesn't make me an expert, I do know hard workers when I see them. And I know lazy people too. I knew my construction experience would be a blessing and a curse here. So far it's only been a curse - but at least I know what I would do. All three times I've been invited and all three times I gave it my all. The only difference is that local volunteers worked much harder in both previous instances. And by "much harder," I mean they worked much harder than both me and here.
My other problem besides my lack of patience, is that I'm horribly spiteful. So much of me just feels like packing up and leaving and teaching my community a hard lesson. Except they wouldn't get it: all they would do is comment on how I didn't do anything for them when I was here. They want handouts, I want motivation. I do seek a little comfort knowing I'm not the one who is not trying - what more can I do?
My Grandma once gave me the best advice of my life. She said, "Brandon, always try your hardest. But if your hardest just isn't good enough, there's nothing you can do, and you shouldn't feel bad about that." I just wish other people would try as hard as I'm trying - or just try a little more than you are right now, which is not at all.
Today Brandon hit the melting point, but let me choose my words carefully. I have received a rumor that my bosses read this blog too, Hi Peter!, Hi Greg!. I guess it's not really a rumor, one once said, "Hey Brandon, I finally checked out your blog. Some really funny stuff on there."
No, I don't want them to think I'm crazy, nor not cut out for the The Toughest Job. I'm just impatient. If there is one thing that I cannot stand it's laziness. Yup, the pure ol' "Ya know, I don't really feel like working....ever."
Personally, I love working. I am not a workaholic by any means, but I love to be engaged in something. I always take on more than I can handle, I always get it done, it always turns out well.
Comparisons are useless here but I would just like to state that my goals for the next two years, I mean the physical labor goals, could easily be done here in no time. In fact, give me 5 of my old laborers at Terra and my two brothers, and I could have it done in a week. In fact, give me any 10 able-bodied Americans and I could have it done in 2 weeks.
I've worked with Habitat in Romania and Engineers Without Borders in Bolivia. While this doesn't make me an expert, I do know hard workers when I see them. And I know lazy people too. I knew my construction experience would be a blessing and a curse here. So far it's only been a curse - but at least I know what I would do. All three times I've been invited and all three times I gave it my all. The only difference is that local volunteers worked much harder in both previous instances. And by "much harder," I mean they worked much harder than both me and here.
My other problem besides my lack of patience, is that I'm horribly spiteful. So much of me just feels like packing up and leaving and teaching my community a hard lesson. Except they wouldn't get it: all they would do is comment on how I didn't do anything for them when I was here. They want handouts, I want motivation. I do seek a little comfort knowing I'm not the one who is not trying - what more can I do?
My Grandma once gave me the best advice of my life. She said, "Brandon, always try your hardest. But if your hardest just isn't good enough, there's nothing you can do, and you shouldn't feel bad about that." I just wish other people would try as hard as I'm trying - or just try a little more than you are right now, which is not at all.
posted by Unima Kwaribo | 5:26 PM
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