Insect Repellent Users Manual

If the cat poops on your wooden floor again and you don't have anything to clean it up with, I recommend spraying bug spray all over the area and then lighting it on fire. This technique is always recommended. Be careful the fire doesn't spread to the duck poop though.

If pesty fruit flies are hovering your green bananas and don't seem deterred by the sweep of an outstreched hand and some vulgarness, spraying your food with bug spray is not recommended. At least not Deep Woods Off since that doesn't deter fruit flies either. It may, however, increase the savorness of said green bananas.

If your pits gots da stinks, bug spray can mask the smell for exactly one hour. By this time though, you should be doubting whether it pays to ever clean up or wash your clothes again.

Bug spray should not be used as a substitute for clothes. It may however, be used as a substitute for shoes.